All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
