what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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