Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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