At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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