ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
