remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
