Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
