drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
please don't ironically join a cult
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