we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
