I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
