he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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