Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
