I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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