haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
