If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
