This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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