What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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