the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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