i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
