Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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