If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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