I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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