What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
