She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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