STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
