i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
