So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
