the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
