Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
