If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
