what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
