dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
