let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
