mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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