I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
