Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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