Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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