I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
