So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
