At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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