Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
