youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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