Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
