We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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