she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
