also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
