We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I look better un-naked...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
