This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
vagina is talking i cant
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
