What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
