If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
