I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
