Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
