First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
