I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
