Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
