I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
